Tracy VI’ve been in education for over 30 years. And I’ve always struggled with the anti-bullying label in schools. And don’t get me wrong, I agree that bullying has no place in society. I just don’t want that word in schools.
I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.
Mother Teresa
Mother Teresa knew what she was talking about in this quote. Language matters. And the word bullying should be kept far, far away from schools. We need to have kindness policies. Not anti-bullying policies. And we need to make sure everyone knows what kindness looks like.
Sadly, the truth is some students don’t know what kindness looks like. They either have families that are very distant and disconnected, or, they have families that are experiencing trauma and stress. In both of these cases, kindness might not be in the forefront of the family experience. Now, of course this isn’t every family, but it can be many families. And quite frequently, the student who is not kind, Can often come from one of these types of homes.
If you work in schools, practice a different form of kindness every day with your students. Make a list of ways to be kind in your class and post it for all of your students to see. Find out from your students what they think is kind. And find out if anything might make them uncomfortable on your kindness list. Culture might affect how different behaviors are interpreted. Kindness for one student might not seem kind to another student.
Highlight kindness that you see as a leader in your classroom, or your school. Compliment those who are kind in front of others. Demonstrate kindness wherever you go. Thank students for being kind. Make a little video of students demonstrating different ways to be kind. Then if you have students who are not being kind, have them watch it. Videotape the student who was not kind demonstrating the alternative to their behavior that is kind.
And as adults in our society today, be kind. We are coming out of a period in our history where our commander-in-chief used name calling frequently. Name-calling is not kind. So we have to counteract that experience with even more kindness. We have to show kindness even to those who we may disagree with. We need to show kindness to those who might be struggling or hungry. We need to show kindness to our leaders. And most importantly we need to show kindness to our families.
Start a kindness journal and record the ways you are kind every day. See if you begin to notice more opportunities for kindness. And start recognizing the ways that others are kind to you. What you focus on grows.
May you have a kind-filled week.
